The other morning I woke up and starting thinking about recovering the couch. Myself.
And so of course that got me thinking about how getting sober is like a big sewing project. I mean, that’s what you’ve been thinking all this time right?
Now, I’m pretty sure my first sewing project does not need to be recovering a sectional. Myself. I should probably start with a blanket- nice and flat, no sleeves. Start small (stay home) then work up to big stuff (a royal wedding). That’s just like getting sober! See? I have a borderline obsession with sobriety metaphors.
But then I thought a pincushion would be a good way to keep track of your days. And it’s pretty too. So you could try that, and then if you want a drink you just poke yourself in the eye with one of the pins. (which would do you just about as good as that drink would.)
In totally unrelated news: I start a new job today. Same place, different team. I was very frustrated with my old job. Angry a lot about it. So I got brave and said, “I need to move” then the right person said, “We’d love to have you!” and after lots of waiting it’s finally here. This is something I would never have done if I were still drinking. I would have stayed and resented and stayed and resented. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I would have said, over and over, while I pounded wine and wondered why I was so miserable. (the proverbial pin in the eye trick!) I’m nervous, and excited. I’ve learned that not knowing what’s coming up isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I’m wearing my orange shoes to remind me to be brave, and to just be myself. Fit the job to me, not the other way around.
In other random news: I got new running shoes yesterday. I got fitted and everything! Matt was grand and brought out several pairs of shoes and I got to go outside and run in them and he asked lots of questions and was patient and kind. Someone treating me like that when I was drinking would have made me totally uncomfortable and I would have just picked the shoes by color and made sure they were the right size and hurried right out the door. Instead I let myself be taken care of. It was awkward and also pretty awesome.
Drinking is like poking yourself in the eye with a pin, change is good, and letting yourself be taken care of (either by you or someone else) takes some getting used to. Happy Memorial Day y’all. I’m thinking about soldiers everywhere: those in uniform and all of us. Soldiering away. Fighting our own private wars. Coming back even when we can’t fight another day: living to do it. Peace.