— SOBERBIA —

 Getting sober was a huge decision that changed my life forever. I started writing Soberbia back in 2012 as a way to stay accountable. It didn’t work to answer to myself, but I could be accountable to anyone who might read my blog. I didn’t want to lose the trust I had been given when someone read the words “I’m sober” and 100% believed me.

I’ve been sober for over 6 years now. Soberbia has those years permanently recorded, it is a way for you to connect with another person in recovery, to see what I thought about over the course of my recovery. It is a record of my successes and suffering, an honest, intimate and heartfelt recounting of what getting and being sober is like for me.

 

 

I Don’t Know

"I don't know" has been such a dirty word in my life until recently. I grew up in a family where intelligence was valuable. I was the first child but the second smartest out of two siblings. Saying "I don't know" was a death knell or a quick ride to ridicule. So I...

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Radical New Approach

I imagine there's something in all of us that believes that we're unconventional, that although I may be like others in many ways, there are many ways that I am exactly just like me. Our day to day patterns usually benefit from a radical new approach, and we tend to...

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On My Desk…

I look at my desk and I am in love. It's full of so many things that I am drawn to, that excite me. Books, pens, nature- shells and wings and rocks and sticks. I have my own style that I get more and more used to. I remember in elementary school how my individuality...

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Things About Feelings and Emotions

In the great unknowns of the universe feelings and emotions are right up at the top of the mystery list. What are they? How do you know? Is there an objective way to define them- separately and together? Feelings and emotions are things that have seemed out of my...

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It’s Really Not Okay

When I quit drinking I immediately noticed that I felt more. It felt so hard, like I was a rope being jerked through too quickly, burning me. But I wanted it, I wanted that feeling of how difficult it was because it told me how much it mattered that I quit drowning...

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Runner Girl Part Three

Running has always been something I was good at. Not good as in I'm fast and winning, good as in I will do it regularly and I like it. Running makes me feel powerful, capable. Unique. The way I love it is a different way than the way I love yoga. Yoga is a challenge,...

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Runner Girl Part Two

City of Oaks MarathonCity of Oaks Marathon In these pictures I'm finishing the Raleigh City of Oaks Marathon in November 2009. It was cold, rainy, and windy that day. I ran with a man whose wife was pregnant and who was also named Amy for about 10 miles, we talked and...

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Runner Girl Part One

In this picture it's 2009, I'm in Charlottesville VA, I just finished running a half marathon. Look how proud I am! It's so lovely, that grin on my face. I was also very hungover, and could barely walk after, but I did it, and I loved it. I started running as a way to...

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Seasons of a Sober Life

When I woke up I was thinking about seasons, and how the trees in autumn sometimes just show up so vibrantly and badass that everyone is like WHOA! The news even has it as a story- "best fall leaves in 5 years!" "This season is shaping up to be one of the best we've...

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Ready to Fail

I am a failure. I know it's true. I have tried and failed at so many things. I didn't finish college or roller skate very well. I still don't know how to knit or play guitar. I fail on a daily basis- my phone sidetracks me, I eat things I say I don't want to, I lay in...

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On My Desk…

I look at my desk and I am in love. It's full of so many things that I am drawn to, that excite me. Books, pens, nature- shells and wings and rocks and sticks. I have my own style that I get more and more used to. I remember in elementary school how my individuality...